News: the future of shred guitar..dr zoltan speaks





News:

26-11-2007:
Turn your back and along comes another view on shred guitar this time Sir Millard Mulch speaks up.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUITAR VIRTUOSO? by Dr. Zoltan!

Q: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUITAR VIRTUOSO?
A: A number of inventive guitar techniques were developed in the 1980's by the guitar players, Edward Van Halen, Yngwie J. Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, and Steve Vai. They discovered many new ways to play their instruments; new ways of making sounds to be molded into creative compositions. Entire instrumental albums were made incorporating as many of these complex techniques as possible. They researched all of the harmonic and rhythmic possibilities available to them and assimilated them into their musical vocabulary. They practiced these techniques for many hours a day for many years, in order to master the nuance and subtleties. To conquer an instrument was considered a virtue in those days.

Unfortunately, their own attempts to communicate to an uneducated audience made a mockery of their sacred craft. Not enough humans would have understood the sounds these virtuosos were making without some form of visual entertainment attached. To get rich and famous, they needed a pop hook; something for the average human to understand. The fools in the back of the concert hall needed to know when to hoot and holler in their drunken stupor. As a result, the guitar virtuosos donned costumes and obnoxious dance moves. These gimmicks became unshakeable clichés in magazines and on music television, corrupting the pure science they had once dedicated themselves to. As the popularity of their abilities increased, too many pot-boiling copies of copies were made, and the original purpose of craftsmanship was insidiously replaced with the superficial image of poofy hair, makeup, and tongue-flailing. Their substance became a mere style, and the art and science of the guitar virtuoso was lost for nearly 20 years.

Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk
Hollywood's Premiere Anti-Motivational Speaker (aka Sir Millard Mulch)


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