Brian May: unwikipedia!

Brian's Guitars: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Brian_May

Brian owns a huge selection of guitars, none of which he can play. He thinks they look pretty, though, and makes them himself by carving out the guitar shapes with his tougue. He once made his own guitar out of his hair and Freddie's sweaty moustache which he called "Black Curly" (the guitar, not the moustache).
Black Curly: Brian's favorite hair guitar White Albino: a guitar he once obtained from a half-German, half-Irish monk. He then poisoned the monk by putting a tablespoon of stomach acid in his beer. He then cut off his hair with a rusty Stratocaster and hurried away before the cats with laser eyes detected him. Brown Unlike-Others-Of-Its-Kind: a guitar fashioned out of his father-in-law's house. This guitar produces the best sound ever heard by human ears (with the exception of Freddie Mercury and Roger Taylor's voices), however, it had the unfortunate side-effect of making his father-in-law homeless.Oh well!
And many more whimsical guitars...

Flutes
Brian's favourite flute is one he has had since he was a child (which is what he was immediately preceding his being an adult). He made it with his dad out of a family pet which had recently passed away. The cat was a dearly loved companion, and Brian felt it would be a fitting tribute to convert Michelle into a wooden musical instrument. So good was the sound created by the flute, Brian has continued to use it to this day, if this day is a day when he has continued to use it, too. What do I know? The distinctive sound from the "Dead Michelle" defines the Queen sound in the overcrowded field of flute based arena rock.